How to Fix Separation Anxiety in 4 weeks

When I adopted Freya from the shelter at just 8 weeks old, all of 13 pounds, I thought I was prepared for everything (I wasn’t). But around 20 weeks, we hit a massive wall I wasn’t ready for, separation anxiety.

I thought I had done all the right things: short crate sessions, building up time slowly, always making sure she had a safe space and treats when I left. Lot’s of positive reinforcement and plenty of belly rubs. She was doing well, making steady progress and it felt like we were really accomplishing something. But then, almost overnight, she decided she no longer liked being alone. The moment I walked out the door, she’d cry, howl, and bark like her world was ending. I couldn’t believe it. 

That’s when I learned about something called “regression.” Training isn’t always a straight line, sometimes progress backslides, and you feel like you’re starting over (because you kind of are). With Freya, that meant going back to square one with separation anxiety training. And since I know I’m not the only one going through this, I want to share exactly what worked for us.

What Separation Anxiety Looks Like

With Freya, it wasn’t just a little whining when I grabbed my keys. It was a full-blown stress response. She’d howl, cry, and sometimes even shake when I left the house. Separation anxiety isn’t stubbornness, it’s panic. And that broke my heart. 

Some of the things I noticed matched what the American Kennel Club lists as common signs of separation anxiety:

• Vocalizing — excessive barking or howling the second I stepped out and did not stop until I came back.

• Destructive behavior — tearing up blankets in her crate became her go-to stress relief.

• Accidents indoors — even though she was mostly house-trained, stress sometimes got the better of her.

• Clinginess — she followed me from room to room and panicked if I was out of sight.

If you’ve seen any of this with your own dog, trust me, you’re not alone. I felt overwhelmed at first, but here’s the hopeful part, separation anxiety is one of the most common issues dog parents face. And the good news? With patience and structure, it’s also one of the most fixable. 

FOMO vs. Separation Anxiety

At first, I wondered if Freya just had a case of FOMO (fear of missing out). After all, plenty of dogs whine when they hear you outside or don’t want to miss the action. But the difference became clear pretty quickly.

• FOMO is temporary. A dog might bark when you leave, paw at the door, or fuss a little, but eventually they settle. It’s their way of saying, “Hey, where’s the party?”

• Separation Anxiety doesn’t fade. Freya didn’t calm down once I left. She escalated, barking harder, crying louder, and refusing to stop until I came back. And once I came back, all was well again. 

That’s when I knew this wasn’t just boredom or her thinking she was missing out on the party. It was deeper. It was panic.

Why Dogs Develop Separation Anxiety

What I had to remind myself was that Freya wasn’t being “bad.” She was scared. Separation anxiety isn’t about spoiled dogs, it’s about insecurity and stress. And its something we needed to work on. After all I wanted what all pet parents want for their dogs, the best. And that meant giving her the tools to be confident enough alone. According to PetMD, there are many causes of separation anxiety. 

In her case, I think a few things contributed:

• Early changes — coming from a shelter meant lots of sudden transitions in her young life.

• Over-attachment — we spent so much time together early on that being apart felt unnatural for her, and honestly me too. 

• Regression — like I mentioned, she had been doing well, but around 20 weeks, the anxiety came back hard.

• Routine changes — even small shifts in my schedule seemed to throw her off. Which as well all know, keeping a perfect routine is nearly impossible. 

Once I understood this, it helped me stop taking her behavior personally and start focusing on building her confidence instead.

The 4-Week Training Program

Separation anxiety doesn’t disappear overnight, but with consistency, I saw huge progress in just a few weeks. Think of this as a core 4-week plan, some dogs may take 5–6 weeks or longer, but that’s okay. Progress is progress and a win is a win. 

Things to Remember

• Keep returns and leaving low-key. I made a point not to make a big fuss when I left or came back. I wanted to show Freya that leaving isn’t a bit deal.

• Remember to always leave your dog in a safe space. Whether that’s a crate, playpen, or puppy-proofed room. For Freya, the crate worked best.

• Get a plan of action ready, what we did: close the blinds, turn off the lights, turn on some lightly played music. 

Week 1: Foundation

• Grab your keys, shoes and make sure your pup watches you go out the door. Freya always knows I’m leaving when I grab my keys. 

• Start with super short absences (30 seconds–1 minute), reward them when calm and repeat multiple times a day, gradually increase the time everyday

• Pair departures with something positive (high-value treats, a stuffed Kong).

Week 2: Gradual Increases

• Stretch absences to 10–20 minutes, a few times a day.

• Remember Keep departures casual, grab your keys, step out, come back.

• Always Reward calm behavior when you return.

Week 3: Building Confidence

• Extend sessions to 30-45 minutes.

• Mix up the timing so Freya didn’t predict exactly how long I’d be gone.

Week 4: Real-Life Practice

• Work up to an hour or more and start using that time for errands.

• Reinforce independence with safe toys, chews, and a predictable routine.

• By the end of week four, Freya could stay calm for over an hour and that felt like a huge victory.

The biggest thing I learned was this: if she struggled at any step, it wasn’t failure. I just scaled back to the last successful point and built up again. 

The Bottom Line

Dealing with separation anxiety was exhausting at times, but it wasn’t permanent. With patience and structure, Freya learned that me leaving wasn’t the end of the world and I learned that progress comes in small, steady steps.

The key is not expecting perfection overnight. Some dogs breeze through in four weeks or less, while others take longer. Freya needed more time in certain phases, and that was okay. What mattered was moving forward and celebrating wins, even the little ones.

At the end of the day, separation anxiety training is about building trust. Freya learned that I always come back, and I gained peace of mind knowing she could relax when I wasn’t there. And honestly, that’s a win worth every bit of patience.